Brown Eyes and Destructive Secrets
by LittleMissLumos
Summary: Don't judge a book by it's cover. Don't judge a girl by her crazy werewolf serial killer father. And definitely DON'T fall in love with the gorgeous brown eyes of one of his victims. A secret like that can destroy an otherwise perfect relationship. Trust me.
1. Chapter 1

Chapter 1 – Prologue

The night was dark. Stars twinkled in the sky like lights on a Christmas tree. I sat on the windowsill, my fingers absently twirling around my cat, Beatrice's, tail. I looked up at the full moon. My father was having a drink in the village somewhere. He always did on a full moon, it was like some kind of tradition between him and his friends. I savoured these hours alone, although I seldom saw my father anyway. I spent most of my time in my room back then. I doubt it would have been like that if my mother was still here, but she was killed by a werewolf when I was one.

A heard a howl and looked down. A giant four legged animal was sprinting across the lawn. It had white silver hair, and a long snout protruding from its fierce face. It was chasing after a small boy with sandy hair. I recognised him as Remus Lupin from the village. He was only 6 – the same age as me. My stomach churned as I watched his petrified face contort into one of horror as the werewolf pounced. I squealed with terror and crawled back into my bed, snuggling up to Beatrice, and pulling the duvet up over my head to mask the screams of pain and pleads for mercy. I wasn't afraid of the werewolf that prowled the village every full moon. It had seen me countless times in the window, and not done anything. I had gotten used to its untimely appearances. But just because I wasn't frightened for myself, doesn't mean I wasn't frightened for the boy whose life was being ruined right outside my bedroom window. I pulled the covers tighter around me, and drifted into sleep, the howls of success still echoing around my head.

I woke up the next morning to hear a faint tapping coming from downstairs. I trundled out of bed and into the kitchen to find a black delivery owl pecking the window impatiently. I quickly opened it and payed the owl in sickles. It dropped the newspaper onto the kitchen surface and then flew off into the blue sky. I had never read The Daily Prophet before. Father had always gotten to it first and hidden it from me. I decided that one peek wouldn't hurt if father never found out, do I hastily opened the newspaper.

Being locked up in your bedroom for the most part of 6 years did have it's advantages (believe it or not). My reading age was extremely above average, so I had no difficulty in reading the front page article:

SAVAGE WEREWOLF STRIKES AGAIN

A young boy from the village of Tinworth was attacked by the elusive werewolf Fenrir Greyback last night.A source of mine has revealed 'Fenrir Greyback's only goal in life is to infect as many people as possible with lycanthropy as possible, in order to create enough werewolves to defeat the wizarding worls. Greyback often purposefully places himself in close proximity with his victims before a full moon to ensure he would attack them after his transformation and -

My whole body shook. I had finally discovered the truth. My father, Fenrir Greyback, was a coldblooded murder. I was the daughter of a savage... Oh crap!


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter 2 - Nasty Reminders**

**DISCLAIMER – ANYTHING YOU RECOGNISE, DOESN'T BELONG TO ME :)**

11 Years later, I sat on the Hogwarts Express, ready to start my 7th year. Well, not _ready _exactly. Mr and Mrs Cattermole (my foster parents) were lovely, but they didn't really understand how my mind worked. They would drop me at Kings Cross Station, hug me goodbye, tell me to write etc, but it just wasn't the same. I would look around at everyone else embracing their parents, exchanging teary farewells, and I realised that I wanted that. A real parent. But unfortunately, my mother was dead and my father was a crazy werewolf serial killer. Don't you just hate it when that happens?

Anyway, I was staring out of the window, feeling sorry for myself, when my best friend Lily Evans walked in. Lily Evans is a kind, caring, and very feisty know-it-all (in a good way) with eyes like emeralds and bright red hair to match her fiery personality. I jumped up and gave her a hug.

"Why hello there! Long time no see!" Lily said

"I know! Sorry about the other day, my parents didn't want me going into Diagon Alley with the current climate." Oh yer, did I mention that none of my friends know that I was adopted? I think it's better this way, people judge me for me, not my father.

"Fair enough," Lily reasoned. "Although, you did miss a fair bit of drama..."

"Ohhh tell me!" I whispered, intrigued.

"Well, we were in Florean Fortescue's Ice Cream Parlour, and Remus, James, Sirius and Peter came over – " "Of course they did..." I muttered under my breath. " – and Black started cuddling up to Dorcas. They were all over each other! It was quite sweet actually, I think that they've been together for a while. But then, Laura Trimble from 6th year came over, you know, one of Sirius's 'fans', and slapped him round the face! Then she started screaming at the top of her lungs that Sirius was cheating on her! Dorcas got up, yelled at Laura to stop being so sad as to try and break up her and Sirius because no-one in their right mind would want to go out with her, even as a rebound, and Laura ran off crying. Then we all got thrown out of the Ice Cream bar for making too much noise!" Lily collapsed onto her seat gasping for breath. I admired and despised her talent for talking for so long without breathing.

I took a seat opposite her with a wide grin on my face. She looked me and tilted her head to the side. "What?" She said.

"I missed having someone to talk to for the past 2 months!" I really meant it. It wasn't right without someone like Lily, or Dorcas, or Mary, or Sirius, James, and even Peter. I had never really been very close to Remus. Mainly because every time I looked at him, I felt guilty. He used to make attempts to try and talk to me most days, but after a few witty and some snide comments, he backed off. I doubt that he knows why i'm so horrible to him. I don't want to be, because he's actually really nice, but I can't stand being near him. Every single time I look into those chocolate brown eyes, I hear the same screaming I heard 11 years ago. And that is unbearable.

Come to think of it, that certain 'gang' haven't been to see us yet! Hmm... a whole 6 minutes on the train without 'The Marauders'. Must be a new record! Speak of the devil...

"Ahh, look who it is! " A tall boy with messy raven hair entered the compartment. His circular glasses sat crookedly on his long nose, and big hazel eyes twinkled from behind the lenses.

"Hullo James!" I exclaimed, whilst Lily muttered something that sounded like "... invading privacy...no manners...just barged in..." A second later, Sirius Black, the school Romeo barged in, accompanied by Remus and Peter.

The best way to describe Sirius is probably... aristocratic. His dark brown curls framed his face and tumbled gracefully into his stone grey eyes. He was the second tallest of the pack, falling a few inches short of James Potter's 6ft 4in.

Remus, while not devastatingly handsome, is still not bad looking. While James and Sirius are most defiantly hot, Remus is more... cute. Sandy blonde hair contrasted brilliantly with his gorgeous brown eyes, and the 'nerdy, bookish' look was strangely attractive.

And then there was Peter. A bit different from the others. None of us really understood why a ratty, watery-eyed, little boy was one of the most popular guys in school. But anyway, back to the conversation...

"And where have you been all holiday?" Sirius asked me as he sat down next to me.

"Ohh, you know. Just at home. Doing nothing. Reg has got a job at the Ministry so he was barely home, leaving me to mope about the house alone. What about you guys?"

"Spent most of it round Prongs's. Don't want to spend more time in my house than I have to." He laughed, but I could tell that he was telling the truth. Sirius never spoke about his family, and even when he did, it was in spite, and his eyes would grow stormy – from that sign we knew that the conversation was over.

The rest of the journey consisted of witty banter (mostly on Lily's part). After a few hours, Dorcas and Mary joined us. Mary Macdonald had a very small frame, so that her dark hair, pale face, and huge blue eyes made her look like a china doll. Dorcas Meadowes was a bit plumper, with golden curls that cascaded down her back and rosy pink cheeks. The boys left and we girls all got changed. It wasn't long before we were all exchanging holiday stories and summer romances. Dorcas told us all about her and Sirius – a story that earned many 'awww's and 'how sweet's.

Before long, we were making our way up to Gryffindor common room after the Welcoming feast. In the warm glow of the fire, I snuggled down into my favourite crimson armchair with a copy of 'Fantastic Beasts and Where to find them".

"Oh, look at this!" Lily ushered us all over to her. She was at the foot of the coach with a copy of _The Daily Prophet _in her slender hands. "_Young girl from Bath attacked by murderous Werewolf Fenrir Greyback..._"

Suddenly, everyone was looking at me. Why? Because I had just stood up in the middle of the common room for no apparent reason.

"Harriet?" Remus looked at me with a concerned look on his scarred face. I looked at him. There it was. That screaming in my head.

"I'm fine...I'm gunna go to bed..." And with that I ran off up the stairs and collapsed onto my bed. I didn't even hear the concerned whispers of Lily, Dorcas, and Mary as I cried myself to sleep.


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3 - Unwanted Visiters  
DISCLAIMER – ANYTHING YOU RECOGNISE, DOESN'T BELONG TO ME :)

I woke up with my bed sheets half on the floor, and half at my toes. It hadn't been a very good night's sleep. Luckily, no-one else was up yet, so I silently got up and ready, then escaped the dormitory to the Great Hall.

I wasn't ready to face the others yet. I knew that as soon as they saw me they would bombard me with 'are you alright?'s and 'do you feel okay?'s. I picked up my new timetable and 2 slices of toast, and (seeing as I had a free period first) went outside to my favourite spot by the lake. I don't know what came over me last night; I was just a bit... well... I don't know. But what I do know, is that I really didn't need Gilderoy Lockhart from Ravenclaw coming over and bothering me. Which he was. Oh crap.  
"Oh Harriet Darling, how are you this fine day?" Lockhart said as he sauntered up to me. Sceptically, I looked up into the sky. The grey clouds that threatened rain any second hardly said 'fine day' to me.  
Ignoring the formalities, I said "What do you want Lockhart?"  
He looked taken aback, but his eyes betrayed him. He wanted to tick me off in his 'black book'. "Want? I don't want anything! But now you mention it..." He took a step closer to me. What a creep...  
I took a BIG step – more like a leap – backwards, saying "Oh please! Why don't you bugger off back to your 'tart of the week' and leave me alone. I'm sure they would love to be on the end of one of your pathetic pick-up lines."

He sighed. "Fine..." he said, and walked off back to the castle with considerably less swagger than before. Wait a sec, did I just damage Gilderoy Lockhart's ego? That is DEFINITELY going on my list of achievements. All I had to make a fool of now was Sirius, and my list would be complete. Speak of the devil...

"James! Sirius! What are you doing over there?" They emerged from a nearby bush with their usual smirks on their faces.

"Oh Harriet Daaaarling, how aaare you this fine day?" They both chorused as they walked towards me.

"Ha ha very funny. Were you just listening to our whole conversation?" I asked, putting my hands on my hips.

"Well, we were sitting in the common room early this morning when you went through. We followed you 'cause we wanted to see if you were okay, and we just happened to see Lockhart go up to you and thought 'why stop him?' We needed a laugh, and... we got one." James said matter-of-factly.

I looked sceptically at the innocent smile of his face, before turning to Sirius. "I take it you two have a free period now too?"

Sirius smiled. "Of course! Do you think we – of all people – would just skip class? Who do you think we are?" He put his hand to his forehead whilst James and I laughed. He was such a drama queen sometimes...  
"Well what class do you have next?" I asked.

"Potions" James and Sirius said in unison.

"Oh cool, me too. Well, we have about 15 minutes till lessons, so shall we just walk to the dungeons very slowly?"

"I 'spose," James said, "and if we were to run into any Slytherins on the way..." He and Sirius exchanged knowing looks. I sighed.  
"Guys! Do you always have to hex Slytherins for simply being there? Yes, I know, Slytherin is the root of all evil, but James, you're Head Boy now! You have to set a good example! And I really do think that Lily would give you a chance if you acted a little bit more mature." They both stared at me blankly for a few seconds. Although James had a pained expression on his face, he gave in.

"You're right Harriet. Come on then guys, let's go to Potions." He said, and strutted off with his head held high. I and Sirius stared at his retreating back for a second then both said "What?" He turned around looking confused.

"Well... You said we should go to class. So I'm going to class! Now get moving or you'll both end up in detention for a week." And he walked off again, leaving Sirius and I in stitches."I'm not joking." He shouted back to us.

"What have I turned him in to...?" I muttered to a still laughing Sirius, as we both obediently followed James.

*****

Well, what can I say? Potions was positively disastrous.

I knew something bad was going to happen as soon as I walked into the classroom and saw 'Please stand at the front of the classroom so I can sort you into your working pairs.' I nudged myself in between Lily and Severus Snape – For her sake. Snape was the disgusting human being i'd ever had the misfortune to meet. He has shoulder length black hair that I swear had never touched soup and he has a passion for the Dark Arts. He also has a GINORMOUS crush on Lily, but lost any chance he had with her when he called her a 'Mudblood' in 5th year. So I sacrificed my nice grease-free robes to stop him pestering her. I am such a good friend!

Anyway, we were put in to pairs.

"I'm going to put you all in pairs with another member of your house because I know how high tensions can get between you all!" Slughorn chuckled nervously. He was right. "So I'm going to start with Gryffindor. So I have down... Lily Evans and James Potter!" Ooo this was going to be a long year! "Sirius Black and Dorcas Meadowes! Remus Lupin and..." I drew a deep breath. "Mary Macdonald!" Phew! But that means I'm with – "Peter Pettigrew and Harriet Cattermole!" Ah well. He's not THAT bad. I guess...

So after that, Peter and I went to our desk to start a potion of our choice. We (Or, because Peter didn't seem too enthusiastic, I) chose to brew a Calming Drought. I walked over to the store cupboard to get some daisy roots, but unfortunately, someone else was already in there.

"Hey Harriet! Are you sure you're OK after last night?" Remus looked at me concerned. Geez, will this guy ever stop being nice? "Yes Remus I'm fine" I said through gritted teeth. "Now will you please let me past so that I can get some daisy roots?" He was slightly taken aback for a second, but recovered in time to say "It's fine, I'll just get them for you."

"No, I am perfectly capable of getting them myself!"

"Well I'm closer, so just..."

CRASH. All of our bickering had caused the daisy roots to shatter on the floor. "Great. Now look what you've done!" I shouted in his shocked face and stormed back to my seat. I really didn't make this easy for myself did I?


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter 4 - Forbidden Temptations

DISCLAIMER: ANYTHING YOU RECOGNISE, I DO NOT OWN :)

Days, weeks, and months passed, while autumn slowly turned to winter. The golden leaves that flooded the protruding roots of the trees turned into spindly skeletons, and the winds grew colder and harsher (It was already pretty cold – this is Scotland!) I think Remus finally got the message that I didn't want to talk to him. Every time i'd see him around the castle he'd lower his head and scurry off. When i'd enter the common room and he was in there, he'd just get up and leave for his dormitory.

I mean, as much as I take pleasure in not having to look into those gorgeous chocolate brown eyes that I could just melt into... Wait, what was that? Did I just... swoon over Remus Lupin? No, surely not... anyway, where was I? Oh yes. As much as take pleasure in not having to feel guilty every time I see him, I do feel slightly bad. After all, it's not his fault that my dad ruined his life and I didn't do anything to stop him. You're right. It's my fault. No, how can it be my fault? How could a 7 year old girl have taken on a fully grown professional werewolf?! Hmph. I have to stop beating myself up about this. Remus is a perfectly good guy and I'm horrible to him all the time!

These were the thoughts running through my head as I walked down to the Quidditch Pitch with Lily. She had managed to drag me outside in the dark, cold and damp one evening in November. And when I asked why,

"Well, the team is getting ready for the big match against Hufflepuff, right? And, well, I think it would be quite educational to watch how they practice because, err I see myself being some kind of leader someday, you see? So I wanted to pick up a few leadership skills while watching. Plus, why not take a nice stroll when the weather's this nice?'

And with almost comical timing, the heavens opened and it started pouring down with rain. I put up the hood on my jumper while Lily ran ahead with her hands over her head. "Come on!" She shouted. I rolled my eyes and followed, being cautious not to slip on the freshly churned mud that Lily left in her wake.

We finally made it to the pitch and took our seats on the sobbing wet stone stands. I looked at Lily, only to see her staring at something intensely. I followed her gaze and gasped. She was looking dreamily towards someone. Someone who was riding around the pitch in a victory lap after scoring a brilliant goal. Someone who looked an awful lot like...

"James! You fancy James!" I practically screamed in her face. Her cheeks burned to almost the same colour as her hair as she furiously denied it. "What? No I don't! That would be... ridiculous! He's just so... annoying!" Annoying my arse. She's madly in love with him. I can just tell. She started blathering on about how she could "never fancy him because she swore she wouldn't in third year" and then blatantly changed the subject by saying "Oh look! There's Remus! Hi Remus!" She's got it bad! She must really love hi...Did she say Remus? Oh God...

Before I could say "Stop", she was running over to him on the other side of the pitch. She took a seat next to him, and from what I saw, struck up a conversation. Then they both stood up, and started walking towards me. Oh Merlin. Drat. Blast. Bugger. Arghhhhhhhhh!

"Hi Harriet" Remus said. His sandy blonde hair was swept to one side and he really did look pretty hot... No! I just did it again! Why am I finding him so god damn attractive all of a sudden?

"Hullo Remus" I muttered, keeping my head down. Getting dragged into those pretty little eyes was the last thing I wanted to do.

The two of them sat down. Lily on my left, Remus on the left of her. We sat in an awkward silence for a while, before Quidditch practice finished and the team went to get changed. Lily immediately stood, said something about "congratulating the team on a great practice" (obviously just an excuse to see James half naked) and scurried off, leaving Remus and I. I heard him about to say something so I got up and started heading back to the castle. He ran to join me, just walking by my side. We had just got to the Stone Circle, when he opened his mouth.

"Why do you hate me so much?"

I visibly cringed. I couldn't tell him. That would mean disaster. So I decided, as much as it pained me, to play along. "I don't hate you."

"Then why are you always having a go at me? What did I ever do to you?"

We had stopped walking at this point. I stared at my feet, but I could feel his eyes on me. I decided to keep my mouth shut. "You became a werewolf." What? I thought I was keeping my mouth shut?!

"Wh...what?" His face had a look of pure shock plastered on to it. "How do you know that?" He spluttered.

"Because..." I couldn't tell him. At least not now. He would hate me for sure. "It's fairly obvious! You're always..." Think of excuses, think of excuses... "Out at full moon! And really tired afterwards! And you're never there for the Defence Against the Dark Arts lessons about werewolves! And... and those bloody great big scars on your face!" I could tell I was hurting him. I could see it in his eyes. I'm a terrible person.

I paused. " Listen Remus, you're a really really great guy, but I can't go out with you."

"Woah!" Remus interjected, "Who said anything about going out?"

Damn. He's right. Which means I was thinking about it. Which means... Oh My God! I fancy Remus! Oh no oh no oh no oh no oh no! This can't happen! It's forbidden! It's taboo! It's... so bloody tempting. It finally clicked. He fancies me! That's why he was always so desperate to talk to me, and help me, and why he always looked so upset when I knocked him down. He must have realised what I was thinking because he smiled and said "Do you want to go to James's Christmas Party with me?"

James Potter's Annual Christmas Party. The most important event on the social calendar. So important, that each word in its title had its own capital letter. And Remus, the guy who was made a werewolf by my own dad, was asking me to go with him. I couldn't. I wouldn't.

"Okay." I did. My mouth is seriously out of synch with my mind. So before he had chance to confirm, I hurried off back towards the castle, leaving a stunned, confused, overjoyed Remus behind me.


	5. Chapter 5

I sprinted towards the entrance hall. Spotting her trademark red hair, I ran over to Lily and - after apologising profusely to an irked James - dragged her into an empty classroom.

"Harriet?" She said, confused. "What's wrong?" I understood her worry. There I was, soaked through to the bone, shivering, teeth chattering, mascara running down my face from both the rain and my tears. I looked like a total wreck.

"It's Remus," I gasped through my hiccups. "He...he asked me to James' party!" And then I broke down crying into her arms.

I was expecting showers of sympathy and profanities towards said boy, so I was shocked when a few seconds passed and Lily was still silently rubbing my back. I looked up through my tear-filled eyes. "Didn't you hear me?"

"Of course I did," she replied, "I just… why is that such a problem?"

I stood upright and stared back at her defiantly. "Why? Because….. I can't…. be around him!" What a pathetic excuse.

"What on earth do you mean? You've fancied him for Merlin knows how long, and now he asks you and –"

"I what?! Fancy him? That's completely absurd!" I spluttered, interrupting her ridiculous-but-quite-true notion. "That's not the reason! Remus is…. He's a werewolf." I sighed dejectedly. I wasn't meant to tell her that part, but let her go on thinking that I have feelings for him? I don't think so.

To my surprise, she glared at me. "I know he is, I'm not stupid. I worked it out in 5th year when he kept missing patrols at full moons."

I gaped at her. "You…. You did?"

"Yes, I did. And frankly, I'm disappointed with you! You never let prejudices like that get in the way before. I mean, I'm a muggleborn, Sirius is a Black, and Peter can't seem to speak in front of women, but that has never mattered to you! Why should the fact that Remus is a werewolf matter at all?"

And more gaping…

"Because…" Come on, find an excuse that doesn't make me sound like a heartless animal! "Because he's a monster!" Whoops…

Lily's face went completely red, and she exploded. "A monster?! How dare you! Remus has never been anything but nice to you, and you call him a monster just because maybe he turns into one once a month – and not even by choice! _You're_ the monster!"

And with that she turned on her heel and caught up with James, who had been trying to eavesdrop just around I corner. I prayed that he hadn't heard too much. But then again, what did it matter? It's not like James would talk to me if I was in Lily's bad books – which I most certainly was.

And just when I thought it couldn't get any worse, Sirius Black came through the door, grabbed my arm and dragged me into a broom cupboard. Funny, I thought broom cupboards were only made for-

"Why the bloody hell is it a problem that Remus is a werewolf?"

Nope, we're definitely not here to snog.

Looks like James wasn't the only one eavesdropping.

I looked up at him, his stormy eyes full of fire and mine full of fear.

"Oh jeez, when did I ever say it was a problem?" I hissed back.

"Um, when you said he was a monster?! Besides, you've always been weird around him!"

"Well, I'm sorry for not wanting to associate with a blood thirsty animal!" Crappity crap crap crappy crap. I did NOT mean to say that.

Then, almost mirroring Lily's actions, he gave me daggers one last time and left, slamming the door in my distraught face.

Crap.

I slowly left the broom cupboard and made my way to the girl's bathroom, where I proceeded to lock myself in a cubicle, curl into a foetal position, and cry.

The problem was I really did like Remus. He was kind, considerate, funny, and great company. I would go as far to say that I really did fancy him. I'm just… selfish. I hurts too much to be around him, and if I told people why then I'm sure they'd understand. But if I told people why, then they'd probably hate me even more, too.

I slammed my hands down on the floor in frustration.

Ouch.

Why was this so bloody difficult? Why did I have to have the crazy werewolf serial-killer father? Why couldn't I be happy that the guy I fancied invited me to a great party? Why why why why why? And it's not like I could talk to anyone else about it. News of my bitchiness would surely have spread to the other marauders by now, and Lily certainly won't speak to me. There's Mary and Dorcas, but I've never been that close to them, so the sight of me now would probably be enough to send them running for the hills.

I had to tell them. Everything. That way, they would understand why I was always awkward around Remus. Perhaps they'd even feel sorry for me, you know, having to live with Fenrir Bloody Greyback for 6 years of my life. Besides, they were my friends. If they haven't judged Remus for being a werewolf, then they wouldn't judge me. There's more to me than just my father, and they ought to know that. Remus had the right to know that it was my father that ruined his life.

Well, when you put it that way, telling them sounded like a _great _idea.

Can you sense my sarcasm?


	6. Chapter 6

Chapter 6 – Difficult Truths

After spending a good half an hour wallowing in my own misery, I finally wiped my eyes and got up. I begrudgingly left the girls bathroom and made my way towards the Gryffindor Common Room. It was nearly past curfew already so the corridors were empty. Except for me. I just hoped that Filch didn't catch me out of bed – that would NOT end well.

Climbing up the last flight of stairs, I could see the portrait of the Fat Lady. She was glaring at me, wondering why I was wondering the school at half eight at night. I stood with my hands on my hips in front of her.

"Godric." I said.

She reluctantly swung the door open, and I gave her my best withered look as I stepped through the hole. Straightening myself up, I looked around. None of the Marauders nor Lily were in the Common Room, but after asking Mary (who was painting her nails by the fire) I found out that she had gone up to boy's dormitory. Wow, I thought, has James scored already?

I slowly walked up the stairs, trying to put off telling them the truth for as long as possible. When I reached the 7th year boy's dorm, I stood still for a few seconds, taking a deep breath in, then letting it out. In, out. In out. Breathing in once more, I opened the door.

5 sets of eyes turned to look at me from where they were sitting on the floor at once. At first, their expressions were of surprise, then of dislike, then of extreme dislike. I almost stumbled backwards – I wasn't used to receiving that degree of hatred. We stayed like that for a while. Just, staring at each other. Until I cleared my throat. Better get this over with.

"Look," I started, "I know you guys are all really mad at me, and you have every right to be. I said some really horrible things." I glanced at Remus as I said that. He looked at the ground.

"But, as unreasonable as it sounds, I do have an excuse." I continued.

"What, an excuse for acting like a complete bitch?" Lily chimed in. Ouch, that hurt. The other boys (bar Remus) nodded in agreement.

"Well, yes. This may sound weird but it's about my Dad."

"We didn't ask for your life story Cattermole. Just say what you have to say and get out." James said. I felt like bursting into tears just then – James had never called me by my surname.

"Well that's just it. My name isn't really Cattermole." Confusion passed across everyone's faces. "I was adopted. You see, I lived with my Dad until I was 6, then I ran away and got taken in by another family in the village – the Cattermoles."

"Why did you run away?" Peter interjected.

"I found out something nasty about my Dad. When I was younger he was never around, and my Mum died when I was a baby. Now, one day when I was 6 I saw something really horrible happen in the field outside of my bedroom window. It was a boy, being chased," I looked at Remus again, and he looked back at me this time. "By a Werewolf."

James, Sirius, Peter and Lily all looked in shock at Remus. He blanched.

"You knew?" He said quietly, his voice full of desperation.

"Yes, but there's more." I shut my eyes. It would be easier to say without having to see their expressions. "In the morning I read the Daily Prophet, and it said that Fenrir Greyback had struck once again. But that's the thing. Fenrir Greyback, he's…." Another deep breath. "…He's my Father."

The dormitory was deathly silent, until I felt someone shove past me and the door slam. I winced and opened my eyes. James had his eyes closed, and his fists clenched. Sirius was looking up at me with shock and surprise. His mouth hung open and I had to withhold an exceedingly inappropriate giggle at how idiotic he looked. Lily was looking into space, her eyes red and wet with tears and her bottom lip was trembling. Peter still looked confused, bless him. And Remus, well, Remus must have been the one who left.

James spoke first. "I think you should leave."

I looked back at him with a hurt expression on my face. I was about to argue, but James is really scary when he's angry, so I decided to do as he says. I turned my back on my 4 classmates, and left the dormitory. Then, I ran. I wasn't really sure where I was running to, especially as it was way past curfew, but I needed to get away from them. I wasn't really sure where I stood with them – whether they'd forgiven me or not, or whether they hated me even more. I did know, however, that I needed to give them some space for a while. Finding out that the parent of one of their best friends is on the Undesirables list at the Ministry is a lot to take in.

So, I kept running. Eventually I stopped, crawling into an old disused classroom. I had no idea whereabouts in the Castle I was, but I was exhausted from running from my problems. Therefore, I did what any troubled teenager would do in this situation. I let sleep take over.


	7. Chapter 7

Chapter 7 – Painful Betrayals

I woke up the next morning with a back ache. Wiping the sleep from my eyes, I looked around to realise that I was not in my comfy bed in Gryffindor Tower, but in a dusty abandoned classroom. On closer inspection, it was midday already so I had missed Transfiguration and Herbology, I had slept under a creaky wooden table, and my hair was covered in cobwebs.

"Eurgh, gross…" I muttered to myself, standing up and shaking them out. Good thing I wasn't scared of spiders. Lily would be terri…

Lily.

The events of last night came rushing back to me. The confrontations, the fight, the betrayal. How I had told my closest friends my deepest, darkest secret, and they had shunned me. Like it was my fault Remus is a werewolf. Like I can help who my father is. Like I support who he is – or what he is. He's the monster, not Remus.

I put my head in my hands. And, as awful as I was feeling, a giggle escaped my lips. How ridiculous was the situation?! My friends hate me because my father (who I haven't seen in 11 years) turned Remus (the guy I fancy) into a werewolf. Not many people can say they're in that situation! Without thinking, I laughed even more. Imagine if I brought Remus home to my father! How awkward would that be?

So, I was laughing hysterically in the middle of an old classroom, when someone ran into it, panting. That someone –

"Remus!" I said, wiping tears from my eyes and trying to regain my composure. He looked tired, like he didn't sleep at all last night. Then again, he doesn't sleep most nights, and with the news he received last night, I couldn't blame him. But, he also looked taken aback. I was confused for a second, before I realised I was still laughing, so I forced myself to look into him chocolate brown eyes to sober myself up. It worked.

"Harriet." He sighed. "I was looking for you." He took a few steps closer to me. We were now about a meter apart. "I just wanted to say… well… I've been talking to the guys and… I think we should keep our distance."

I was completely shocked. What on earth for? I voiced this question to Remus.

"Well, after last night's… drama, we… I… thought it would be best if we didn't see each other anymore."

I took a step closer to him. "But, Remus, I'm not my father! And… I don't care about what he made you in to. I like you for you, and I thought you liked me…" All that I said totally surprised me, because it was completely true. Although I was admitting it to Remus before I had admitted it to myself.

The gap between us was almost indistinguishable now. All I could hear was our heavy breathing. I reached up to his face and ran my fingers down the scar running along his cheekbone. He covered his hand over mine. "These things – your scars, my father – they're beyond our control. And I don't know about you, but I won't let them get in the way of us."

And with that, I closed the distance between us and pressed my lips to his. His body stiffened at first, but relaxed after a second, and he wrapped his arms around my waist, pulling me closer. I moved both my arms up to his neck, running my fingers through his sandy brown hair. The kiss seemed like it lasted forever, but all too soon, Remus pulled back. He stumbled backwards towards the door with widened eyes.

"I can't… I can't get close to you. Not with who your father is. It's not your fault, I just… can't. I'm sorry." He stuttered. And then he ran out of the door.

I stood in the centre of the room with my hand against my lips, my eyes hot with the oncoming tears.

The next 7 days were complete and utter hell.

I sat alone at breakfast, lunch and dinner because Lily and the boys were avoiding me. Even Mary and Dorcas were giving me weird looks and finding excuses not to talk to me. Then again, they always copied Lily, even if she didn't want them to. And although she may hate me at the moment, I find it hard to believe that she would tell them to treat me like a nasty Slytherin. I studied alone in the library, eager to get away from the hostility in the Common Room at any cost. I was waking up super early and going to bed super late to avoid awkwardness in the dormitory. In fact, the only proper contact I'd had with any of them was working with Peter in Potions, and even then he was quieter than usual, sitting on the furthest edge of his chair from me, and not contributing to the potion at all.

To be honest, I felt like I had some kind of contagious disease.

On the Monday night, a week after the argument, I returned to my dormitory at midnight, satisfied that everyone would be asleep by then. I opened the heavy wooden door and scanned the beds. I was right, Lily, Mary and Dorcas were all fast asleep. I crept over to my bed (between Lily's and the wall) and slipped on my pyjamas n silence. As I pulled back the crimson covers, a gleam of silver caught my eye. I looked over to Lily's bedside table to see a piece of navy parchment with curly silver writing on it. It said:

_Dear Lady or Gentleman,_

_You have had the honour of being invited to James Potter's Xmas Bash._

_Please bring your lovely selves and one alcoholic beverage._

_Also, dress wintery._

_Hope you can come – your Christmas will be lame if you don't._

_Love, James Potter._

_PS. Come see me for my address. I'm not putting it on the invitation in case they get into the wrong hands. We don't want any gate-crashers, do we? Snivellus, if you are reading this, I'm talking to you. Get your greasy hands off my awesome party invitation and go back to your hole. _

I snorted with laughter. James could be an arse at times (like now) but he was funny. However, Mary stirred in her bed so I stopped laughing immediately, not wanting to wake her up. I recalled that James managed to get the House Elves to deliver his invitations to the recipient's bedside. Looking over to hers and Dorcas' bedside tables, they had invites too. This was only the second year they had received invitations, whereas Lily and I had been getting them since 1st year. Of course, Lily had turned her nose up at it from then till 4th year, and I didn't want to go without her. So when I finally convinced her that we should go in 4th year, James was ridiculously excited. I actually think I could remember him rejoicing on a table while Lily suppressed a grin that she clearly didn't want him to see. We had gone to the party every year since then.

Smirking at the memory, I crawled into bed and reached over to the bedside table to look at my invitation. But to my dismay, my hand touched nothing but my copy of 'Hogwarts: A History', some owl treats, and an unfinished History of Magic essay.

James hadn't invited me to his party.


End file.
